I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
