He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
