Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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