its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
