i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
