the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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