Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
