note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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