Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
