Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't turn off my feet"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize