i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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