Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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