Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this just has baby written all over it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize