Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
