Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
