Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
