If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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