I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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