Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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