I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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