Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
