I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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