We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize