i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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