Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
