she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
