I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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