Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
