Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
