i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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