I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
