Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
