I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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