Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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