Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize