If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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