I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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