If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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