i jhust puked up my retainher.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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