Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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