i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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