@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
