Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
