my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
