it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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