I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
