So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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