i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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