Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
