so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
