Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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