i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
