I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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