Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
