Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
