yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
