Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fill condoms, not promises.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
